i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She even gives head with a lisp.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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