I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
