at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My penis needs a shock collar
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
