just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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