so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
