You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
