Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Houston, we have a squirter
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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