I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
