Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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