I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
