There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So squirting runs in the family.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
