You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
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Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
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COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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