Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
