I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We need to get me chipped asap
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
