Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
