He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
