a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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