Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
