Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
