You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
