im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
