and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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