i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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