guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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