I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
