so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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