Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
