To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
