what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
