The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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