Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Randomize
