So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
