I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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