No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
