My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
