I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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