By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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