I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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