ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
