thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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