I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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