McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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