Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
