for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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