IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
