He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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