U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
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your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
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Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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