Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
