i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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