Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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