That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
