So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize