I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize