her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think I am morally bankrupt
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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