If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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