She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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