Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
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He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
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Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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