You made me cry and you don't even care
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I need a beard to bite.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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