I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
