wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
